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Writer's pictureCheryl Lazarus

How to Discuss Divorce with Your Children: A Guide for Parents

Approaching the conversation with care can help your child feel secure and supported during this difficult time.



When it comes to telling your children about your impending divorce or separation, it's important to approach the conversation with care and sensitivity. The amount of information you share will depend on the age of your children, but there are some key principles to keep in mind.


First and foremost, both parents should attempt to be present for the conversation and don't overwhelm your child with too much information at once. This is just the first of many conversations you'll have. Reassure them that they are not to blame for the breakup, as children often mistakenly believe their misbehavior might have caused the separation.


It's crucial to avoid speaking badly about each other, regardless of your children's ages. Children need to feel secure in their relationships with both parents. Let them know that your love and commitment to them remains unchanged.


Acknowledge the sadness you all feel about the situation. It's important for your children to know that it's okay to feel upset. Have a box of tissues on hand, and be ready to provide comfort and reassurance. Expressing your own sadness can help them feel less alone and more understood, however, try and keep your emotions under control.


Provide your children with immediate plans, such as where each parent will be living and where they will be staying. It's best not to ask children where they want to stay, as this can be a heavy burden for them. Instead, make these decisions for them, ensuring they understand that these are short-term plans and that discussions will continue as needed.


For very young children, use simple terms to explain the situation. They will gradually understand the reality through their daily experiences.


Above all, remember that your children need your reassurance and support during this time. By handling these conversations with care, you can help them navigate the changes in their lives with confidence and security.

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